We spend a lot of time talking about how to be a great Executive Assistant or Chief of Staff. 

There are books, training programs, conferences, peer groups, competency models, and countless articles devoted to becoming better at supporting an executive. 

Unfortunately, we spend considerably less time on the other half of the equation: How do you become an executive who is good at being supported? 

Because executive support is not something that one person provides to another. 

It’s a relationship. A partnership.  

Great support can’t compensate for everything 

An exceptional Executive Assistant or Chief of Staff can create tremendous leverage. They can protect an executive’s time, anticipate needs, improve information flow, move priorities forward, prepare an executive for important moments, and create order around an extraordinarily demanding role. 

But there is a limit to what even the best support professional can accomplish without an effective partnership with the executive. 

A few examples: If priorities aren’t communicated, it’s difficult to protect them. If context isn’t shared, it’s difficult to anticipate. If everything is urgent, the support team can’t meaningfully prioritize. 

Yet, we sometimes treat these as performance issues for the support person when they may actually be partnership issues. 

Hiring support and using support are different skills 

Executives often reach a point in their careers when the answer to increasing complexity is more support. They hire their first Executive Assistant. Later, perhaps, they add a Chief of Staff. As the organization grows, an entire Executive Office may develop around them. 

But adding capacity doesn’t automatically create leverage: An executive has to learn how to use it. 

For many leaders, that’s harder than it sounds. 

The behaviors that helped someone become successful are now the same behaviors that limit their effectiveness as their responsibilities grow: being deeply involved, knowing the details, responding quickly, etc. 

The executive has changed roles. Their operating habits haven’t necessarily changed with them. 

Support requires access to more than the calendar 

One of the most common misconceptions about executive support is that effectiveness comes primarily from access. 

Give someone access to the calendar. Add them to the inbox. Invite them to meetings. But access to information isn’t the same as access to context. 

To support an executive well, people need to understand what matters. 

What are the executive’s real priorities? Which relationships are particularly important right now? Where is the executive worried? What decisions are coming? What should be protected at all costs? What can move? What does the executive want to know immediately, and what can wait? 

The better the context, the better the judgment. And the better the judgment, the less the executive has to personally manage. 

Trust changes what support can become 

There’s also the unavoidable element of trust. And it’s a big element. 

Executives sometimes say they want more leverage while retaining control over nearly every decision that would create it. 

They want their Chief of Staff to anticipate, but don’t provide enough context to do so. 

They want their EA to protect their calendar, but override calendar decisions whenever someone asks for time. 

They want their team to make decisions, but repeatedly revisit those decisions themselves. 

It’s an impossible dynamic. You can’t create leverage without giving someone room to exercise judgment. 

Executives create the conditions for great support 

The best executive-support relationships aren’t simply the result of finding an extraordinary person. 

The executive contributes to making that person extraordinary in the role. They provide context. They communicate priorities. They establish clear expectations. They give candid feedback. 

And they invest enough time in the relationship that the support person can eventually save them far more time than the relationship requires. 

This is particularly important early on. 

Executives sometimes expect a new Chief of Staff or EA to immediately “take things off my plate.” But effective support often requires an initial investment before it produces leverage. 

Individuality matters 

There also isn’t one correct way to be supported. 

The goal shouldn’t be to force every executive into the same operating model. 

One executive may want an EA deeply involved in email management. Another may not. One may use a Chief of Staff as a strategic thought partner. Another may need that person primarily to drive organizational execution. 

What matters is intentionality. 

Executive effectiveness is shared work 

At Prime, we’ve spent years helping Executive Assistants and Chiefs of Staff become better at supporting leaders. 

But we’ve become equally convinced that executive effectiveness cannot be outsourced to the people surrounding the executive. 

The executive has work to do, too. 

So perhaps the question shouldn’t only be: Do I have the right support? 

Executives should also ask: Am I allowing my support to be effective? 

Because great executive support isn’t something an executive receives. It’s something the executive and their Executive Office create together.